She's still alive n kicking :)

After many months, today has been a really good start to my day. After battling phases of sadness and depression and an unhealthy body, I have finally decided to take charge of my life. Since I was born I have lived in a cocoon and nothing much happened for a long time but I came out of it in 2011 and a lot has happened in that one year.

I have gone from scaling the heights of happiness and ecstasy to coming down crashing with a thud. That crash almost broke my bones and my soul. I felt life had ditched me. And I took the easiest route I could to cope with that fall. I went back into the cocoon and held the world around me responsible for killing the girl full of life.

But I couldn't see that the girl had not died. She had just been sucked back deep into her cocoon. And there were peep holes all over that cocoon of hers. She could see the world around her. one was the world she had built for herself as a child and then was someone else's world that she had made her own. Every one wanted to mould her soul according to what suited them and in the quest of doing so, they almost ended up crushing her soul to death. She was left feeling lifeless.

But then recently a sudden realization dawned upon her. She was becoming like one of the many people in the world who blamed others for everything. Just in time, she realized that those who really love her, love her for what she is, deep within. And that she shouldn't change. She shouldn't become what the society and the people in it demand her to be. She should remain who she is, a free spirit, loving everyone without any expectations of being loved back. She should just thrive on becoming a better soul. Not depending on anyone to be happy or feel loved. She needs to learn to love herself again. One can't please everyone. But one should be careful not to hurt anyone, knowingly.

This is what the girl has realized. She has decided to feel comfortable in her own skin. She will be as sad or as happy as she wants to be. She has decided to live life with her head held high and just be herself and just live in the moment. Take each day as it comes, striving to make it a positive, quality day.

Till love do us apart

They say marriages are made in heaven. A relation , an institution as sacred, pious as marriage just doesnt need adjustments and compromises. It needs everything that the world can or cant imagine. It needs commitment, trust, compatibilty, a spouse who can be your best friend, with whom one can grow as a person, and just live. People fall in love and say "he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with","she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with." That is something that amazes me. Call me an emotional fool or old fashioned or whatever that you may please, but life is not meant to be just spent. It is meant to be "lived" with the person you love. People fall in love, take vows of a lifetime, until death do us apart. Then why is it that they themselves kill the love? Is that what they mean when they look into each other's eyes and vow 'until death do us apart'? death of love? Is it so easy to fall in and out of love?? One fine day, they tell their spouse that they have found love in the arms of someone else.....someone more beutiful/handsome, more fun loving, more ambitious, someone who doesnt compromise his/hers dreams to see them happy or progress, someone who has not seen the tough times with them, as their spouse has, someone who has just brought fun and excitement and unpredictabilty in their lives. What about all those moments, when the spouse sacrificed his/her happiness willingly to bring a smile , see their better half grow and progress and feel content with the happiness of their spouse, not once bothering about themselves, their dreams??????? And who should be hanged for the death of love ?